**Unrealistic Dreamer 🤍**

Li Lopa

- Recycled Canvas

Dreaming unrealistically has come up as a theme in my life multiple times, especially lately! I am an unrealistic dreamer, and I’m sure there are many of us! Dreaming unrealistically isn’t unrealistic, but it can feel that way when we live in a system that is so incredibly boring and unbalanced! During my teenage years, my path involved weed, alcohol, stealing, drugs, and just wild experiences. It could never be too wild, and I’ve crossed many of my own boundaries just to feel a little life in my body. I’ve struggled with a feeling of restlessness that has only grown and grown. When things stood still and I could feel my unresolved emotions, I couldn’t get out the door fast enough to seek new adventures—otherwise, I would fall into a deep, dark hole. That being said, I’ve tried hard to fit in. I had a routine life with my ex-boyfriend, but it gave me anxiety and depression. I’ve enrolled in several different educational programs, only to quit halfway through. I’ve had many different jobs, all of which began to bore me. It started in elementary school, where I switched schools several times because either I was an easy target, or I didn’t get along with the adults—and maybe it became a habit. I was afraid and rebellious toward "adult" people until my late teenage years, when an adult actually treated students as equals. That’s when I realized that not all adults had completely lost their spark. I simply and clearly expect more from life than working hard just to survive and dealing with grumpy adults who seem pretty tired of life themselves.